God is ready to use your pain. God is not shocked by the things going on around you. The things that your husband has done in secret have never been a secret to God. The anger and hurt you feel is not a secret to God. And because he can see all and can heal all, he is excited to do a work in your life that will give glory to him alone. Do you believe that God wants to get glory out of every situation in your life, even the difficult ones? Do you believe God has a plan for YOU; his daughter whom he loves? And do you believe it is God’s plan to raise your husband up out of the muck to be a mighty man of God?
He can use every moment of pain, rejection, and loss to grow you into the woman he created you to be. He can use all the sorrow, remorse, and failed attempts to gain control on his own, to grow your husband into a man of great faith and victory. In Romans 5:3-5 we see a picture of how God wants to use suffering in our lives. “We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.” Do you feel the same sense of Hope I do when you read that? He has a plan for your pain, not only to grow you as a person, but to let that hope pass on to others. Look at the world around you. There are so many women in your shoes who are in pain because of their husband’s sexual sins. What if YOUR story could help someone else? What if the chains that fall off of your husband can bring generational healing for your children? What if your example of forgiveness can inspire others to forgive? Jeremiah 29:11 says “I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” The first time your husband let you down, God did not wring his hands and yell “OH NO, how am I gonna fix this? How am I gonna protect my daughter?” NO! He began at that moment to fill you with the strength that you needed to get through this. And he began to unfold a future for you that brought glory to him through your healing. God has a beautiful future for you, but it requires surrender and action steps from you. YOU have to pursue your healing with God. Don’t expect it to come through your husband and don’t expect God to just reach out and do it for you, he gave you free will so that you will call out and ASK for his help. He wants you to seek him and then you will find the healing he has for you. “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.” (Luke 11:9-10)
The steps of faith you take toward healing will not go unanswered. In 2nd Kings 3 we read about Elisha being called upon by the kings of Israel, Judah, and Edom during a time of war against Moab. The kings and their armies found themselves in a place with no water and looked to Elisha to ask God for help. He told the kings, (v. 17) “This is what the Lord says: Make this valley full of ditches. For this is what the Lord says: You will see neither wind nor rain, yet this valley will be filled with water and you, your cattle and your other animals will drink. (v. 18) This is an easy thing in the eyes of the Lord; he will also hand Moab over to you.” Now the thing that has been pointed out to me by a beloved pastor, Steven Furtick, is that our God does not need the labor of men to build ditches. If he can make water with no rain, he can certainly make some ditches appear in the ground. But there was a point to God’s command. He was looking for an act of faith, a moment of surrender, an acknowledgement of complete trust and dependence on God. Action steps. That is what he looks for from us. He knows your heart is broken and he desperately wants to fix it, but you need to take some steps of surrender and give it to God. What are the steps of faith God is calling you to? For me, the hugest ditch I had to dig, was forgiving my husband even when he didn’t deserve it. (because God tells us that when we don’t forgive, we can’t be forgiven.) There were some more ditches dug along the way, forgiving the prostitutes and other women who sell their bodies and trap so many men in lust, seeking counseling, studying the word to find out if God thought I was valuable, and admitting I couldn’t heal without God. In verse 20 we see that God answered so quickly, as soon as he saw the act of obedience. It says “The next morning…there it was-water flowing from the direction of Edom and all the land was filled with water.” None of these things come automatically, but once you start to dig that ditch you will be amazed at how quickly God rains his healing down on you.