I have been studying Hebrews 11 in efforts to learn the secrets held by the Heroes of the faith. Moses, Abraham, Noah, Joseph, all had lives of deep faith. I am learning so much about what faith looks like as I walk on my journey, and I hope as you press into the Lord, you are learning how to trust him more too. Faith is IMPOSSIBLE unless you trust God, and believe that he wants and knows and can bring to pass good things for you and your family. Do you believe his will is perfect? That he rewards our faith?
When you are going through crisis in your marriage due to sexual sin, it takes an abundance of faith to get through. I had a woman ask me, "what was the one thing that helped you stay with Ray when everything fell apart?" My answer was an easy one…God told me to.
If we believe that God has told us to stay in our marriage, we must also have the faith that he will give us the strength to do so. In Hebrews 11:10 Abraham was “confidently looking forward” and in verse 11 we read that Abraham “Believed that God would keep his promises” again in verse 20 we read that “He had confidence in what God was going to do in the future.” I had to HOLD TIGHT to the promises of God. I love how Sheila Walsh puts it in her testimony of recovery "you have to CLING TO THE CROSS.
I asked the Lord if I could leave Ray after the first affair, and when I knew God was telling me that he wanted me to stay and fight for my marriage, I also felt God assure me in my heart that he wanted Ray to be a mighty man of God and had great plans for him. The same is true for you. Your husband is deeply loved by God and he wants your husband to be free and highly effective in the kingdom of God.
So many times, when faith was hard to muster, I would remember that God wanted Ray’s transformation even more than I did, and that his promises to be with me and to renew my husband’s mind as he sought God, were TRUE and those promises gave me faith to keep going.
If we decide to be a martyr in our decision to stay, we rob God of the blessings he wants to pour out in our marriages and in our own personal healing. If we constantly doubt our husband’s ability to change, we make it 1000 times harder for him to believe in himself, and we quickly diminish his ability to have faith that God can win the battle. BUT if we trust in God, and have faith that HE can do a work in our husband, we will be able to encourage our husband, stand strong, and see the FRUIT of God’s promises. I would much rather be an extension of God’s hands to my husband, than tie God’s hands.
So, remember Abraham…He looked ahead to the future with CONFIDENCE, remembering that God keeps his promises whether we can see it at that moment or not. You can glean strength for your journey by doing the same. Ask God to assure you of his plans for you and for your husband, cause they are wonderful. Jeremiah 29:11 I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you not harm you, to give you a hope and a future.